Ms. Arnette

The Basics

What’s your full name?
Arnette Chandler McKinney

When is your birthday?
September 20, 1960

Where are you from?

I was born and raised in Chicago, started out on the West side before moving to the South side.

I lived on the West side from birth until about the age of 9—then moved to the South side from there.

Where do you live now?

I’m still on the South Side, a bit further east, closer to the lakefront.

The Present Moment

Why are you happy right now?

I’m here with my daughter today, she fixed lunch for me after I left the doctor. Lunch was great and I’m here, I’m still here.

So many people have gone on, so I won’t complain because I’m here.

I have a roof, I have a job, I’m still able to work and connect with my parents. I’m a parent resource teacher. I was an early childhood teacher from 1984 until about 7 years ago, when I came out of the classroom to connect with parents. We do activities, field trips, and I help them to become the best they can be for their students. 

What is bothering you?

My family is okay, my mom is going through changes right now and I’ve accepted that. We all came to this world, and we all must leave. My mother has dementia, and my auntie had it, so I know what happens, but this time, it’s more difficult. I also have knee surgery coming up this month, that’s why I was at the doctor today. 

The other thing that bothers me is something that happens with people. We all want the same thing, yet we don’t help each other. Those that have, don’t share and don’t want anyone else to have.

But from the moment I met Dede, I knew she was my sister from another mother. She is one of the most selfless people I’ve met, and we have such love and admiration for one another. I see her heart. Dede has love for everyone and patience too. I am just in awe of her and the things she does. 

But for some people, they just don’t know any better because ignorance begets ignorance, there seems to be no stop in between. Like in my work, all the things we share with the parents, some take advantage of it, and some don’t. When you don’t take advantage of those things, then something happens, and when the programs are gone, people miss them—but they didn’t participate to keep the program around.

What is your purpose right now?

I love serving and I love helping the parents. Those that have taken advantage of the programs I help with, they’re so much better off today. 

When people come to me and say things like, “I thank God for you, I’m so glad I met you,” I get a bit embarrassed because it feels good, but then I feel a bit guilty because this is the work I’m here for. 

When I’m serving my fellow man, brothers and sisters, it’s not just about me. It’s about all of us. All of us helping one another.

I remind myself: It’s not about you, it’s about God.

What are you going to do for yourself this week?

I’m going to get my housework done so I can sit back and enjoy the week. I’m doing chores to make my life easy, I like to get it done for the week.

I love to crochet, and I like to knit. I’m working on a blanket for my two twin grandsons. They were born on December 15 and I’m working on a sweater and blanket for them. If I can finish those projects, that would give me satisfaction. I have 3 ½ years until I retire, and then I’m going to crochet and knit, make things so I can give them out.

What would you like to see change?

I want to see a hand-up, not a hand out. Making opportunities for people to build themselves up.

What I would really love would be to clear my debt—clear my mortgage and my student loans.

I still have student loans. I’d love to clear my debt. I wish we had a country where we could go to school and not have to go into debt. 

So, I’d love to pay off my mortgage and pay off my student loans. 

I also want to see us be more tolerant of each other, more respectful of one another.

I always say: If you can’t help me, don’t harm me.

If I can’t do you any good, I certainly don’t want to do you any harm.

What’s your hope for the future?

My hope is for human beings to treat each other with dignity, respect, and realize we’re all humans, as well. We all come from different backgrounds, ideologies, and yours is no greater mine.

In order for us to know and understand each other, we have to be around each other. We were each taught a certain way. I met Dede while I was doing a training on Raising Highly Capable Kids. I believe that was Divine Order.

Background

What is your story? 

Moving from the West side to the South side was the best thing that could have happened to me in my life, because many of my friends on the West side, they got off into horrible things.

My mom married my stepfather and they wanted to give us a better chance at life. I was able to go to high school and go to college, get my degrees. They knew what life was about and wanted better for us. We were able to achieve that.

I would say the community I lived in on the South side had a better mentality and wanted things for the children. We were a community, we were neighbors, we looked out for each other, we were that village.

I’m glad that happened in my life—I was able to find out who I was and what I wanted to be. I had support. 

We moved into our own home, no projects. We had the rowhouses, and even those families were a part of the community. 

Fast forward until now, that house where my mother lived: I don’t know anyone up the block. It’s all drug sellers and drug users. The neighborhood has changed and it’s not that village anymore. They started bringing those people from the projects down. Certain aldermen let a lot of those people come in and just destroyed parts of the neighborhood. They didn’t invest and didn’t continue to invest in the community, instead, the aldermen were padding their pockets.

Back then, the teachers lived in the community. Education was very important, and you didn’t want to mess up, because you’d have to see your teachers, they were your neighbors. The best and the brightest, we all went to the same schools. There was no bussing, no moving out of the community. The very school I grew up going to, the Leonard Gifted School, now the neighborhood children can’t get into the school. It’s just wrong. All schools should go back to being neighborhood schools. Every school should have what specialty schools have, everyone should be on the same page. Why can’t all schools be the best school?

Leonard had music, gym, Spanish, technology. My daughter went to Pre-K there. I love the fact that she got that opportunity, to have gym and Spanish. 

Now, some schools don’t have music, language or technology. It shouldn’t be that way.

Inspiration

What’s your favorite quote?

How can I say I love God whom I’ve never seen before and forget to say I love you to the one I walk beside each and every day.

What’s the last book that really moved you?

I fell in love with books and reading in my Master’s Program. I got back to reading.

The one that really stuck with me that I had to read was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I try to go back to those agreements. It really helps and I do pull from it

A book by Bill Winston, a minister, called A Law of Confession. I love that book.

My favorite book in high school was Of Mice and Men. I love Lenny, and I love, love, love that book. Also, The Black Cowboy.

What books really do is they capture the imagination so you can see yourself in that scene and how it would affect you. 

I also loved this book called Spirit Bear, it’s all about restorative justice. It was so good.

What’s the theme song for your life?

There’s a song I’ve been singing, still singing, to my granddaughter, and she found a plaque and put the song title on it:

“You Are My Sunshine”

From the day I met her, I’d go in and sing to her before I went to work. Now she knows the song well and sings to me, so on my birthday, she put the title on a plaque.

Where is your happy place?

My grandchildren. With my granddaughter. I just love my granddaughter. Now I have two grandsons that I’ve never held because of COVID.

When I see them, it just takes everything away.I just want to get them and love them.

My grandchildren take me to a happy place.

How do you see yourself as a leader? 

I lead by example.I treat people the way I want to be treated. I do what I would want someone to do to me.

There’s nothing I ask anyone to do that I wouldn’t do.

I focus on being a positive person and giving out love.

Like I said, if I can’t do good for you, I certainly don’t want to cause you harm.

I want to see people happy, with all of us being able to do the things we want to do, without any inhibitions. 

I focus on being the person I would want someone to be to me.

Any parting words?

Just be who you are.

Let no one change who you are.

If you can’t say something good about a person, don’t say anything at all.